Nap Pig

When I was little, my mother used to try to make me take a nap every afternoon.  I look back all these decades later and totally get the method to her madness.  Heck, I even took a leaf out of her book!  You see, my mother taught me a thing or two about Comfort Piggery and she herself desperately needed – and revelled in – an afternoon siesta.  With four children, a little down time was never shunned.

As a toddler, I used to do whatever I could to avoid the snooze hour.  I would even plant myself under the bed she was sleeping on, just so I would have the satisfaction of not taking a nap just because I was forced to.  Inevitably, though, I’d fall asleep anyway and wake up long after my mother did.

We’re a big family of nappers.  Visiting my Sicilian grandmother, Dad would inevitably eye off the orange tree in the tiny backyard and long to spread out a blanket under its shady limbs.  This always followed a hearty meal of pasta and roast chicken.  But of course, no peace is to be had with children running rampant around the place.  One by one, we were summoned to the blanket to nap until Dad was good and ready to get up again.  Man, did we hate that back then!

Now?  Well now is an entirely different story!  I crave my nap time and whenever I have the chance, I’ll grab it and shut down for an hour or two.  Never mind this ‘power nap’ malarkey.  If you’re going to shut your eyes, do you really want to have to pretend that you’re going to sleep?

Ultimately, I stole from my mother’s book of nap time trickery and wrangled a few naps for myself when my children were old enough to think they were persuasive enough to get out of them.  The trick is to tell them they have to go to bed for an hour or so.  When they kick up a fuss, you insist and when they practically go into meltdown over the  whole nap issue, you tell them that, ok, you won’t have to have a nap … as long as you’re quiet and you let ME have one!  Holy!  Kids will do any activity it takes to be quiet and not disturb Mama Bear from her hibernation, just as long as they won’t have to close their eyes for longer than a blink!  With a few rules (i.e. no opening the door, no answering the telephone, no sticking each other’s fingers together with glue, etc, etc), and as long as you’re within hearing distance of any potential hazards, you too can enjoy siesta time.

Feel free, nap lovers, to use my tips to secure nap time for yourself.

Surely I’m not the only nap lover in my age bracket (think 40-something)?  There is nothing more divine than slipping off your shoes, climbing under the covers – or even laying on top of the bed with a comfy throw draped around your body – and closing your eyes for a while.  If only you could nap at work!  You may have seen the nap pods some clever nap-lovin’ inventor devised.  Well, at a pinch, I’d go for one of these without too much persuasion.  Any employer who installs a nap pod in the workplace has my vote for King Boss.

Fatigue management in progress!

Check out MetroNaps for the ultimate in “fatigue management”.

For me though, I’m more of the sleep-till-you-wake variety.  Power naps just seem to take the decadence out of middle of the day sleeping.  The whole point of a nap is to feel like you’ve done something you shouldn’t, and got away with it.  Ok so there are also the other obvious benefits such as powering down so you can ultimately power back up with more verve, and catching up on missed sleep that happened because you were stressing about life!

However you choose to nap, avoid the guilts.  Sleep is a basic necessity of life, as are breathing and eating.  Stick a Do Not Disturb sign on your desk, lay your head down, close your eyes and if anyone complains, tell them you’re increasing your productivity!

The term “cook’s treat” existed long before Nigella Lawson turned it into a must-have, and in her capable, knowing hands, there is clearly no shame in consuming the first serving of whatever she’s dishing up, even before it reaches the table.

At the end of her cooking programme, which many would agree is akin to food porn in the highest order, Nigella traditionally opens the fridge door to rummage for late night treats, leftovers whose status is no less lofty just because they have already been partially consumed.  Whereas for ‘other’ folk, leftovers are scoffed at as peasant fare, Nigella holds them in the highest regard, those tasty morsels that have served their divine purpose at her bountiful table are to be respected, not shunned.  To witness the grande dame of culinary comfort peering into her refrigerated Aladdin’s Cave is to crave to be invited to sup with her in the dim quiet of her kitchen.

Ms Lawson’s 2002 tome “Forever Summer With Nigella” was created with a single MO in mind: “that you cook to make yourself still feel as though you’re on holiday”.  Such Comfort Pig gems tumble from Nigella’s mouth-made-for-eating like soft, sweet marshmallows cascading over a gooey chocolate cake.  Her effortless descriptions of how food makes her feel, food memories that obliterate youthful hardships and a difficult family history, are what make us love Nigella the way she loves the sight of plump, juicy mangoes or the sound of sizzling bacon.

Watch as the Kitchen Temptress whips up one of her favourite comfort foods and announces:  “When I want to indulge myself, I don’t go for some pampering spa treatment.  I make these, my special chocolate pots.”

1. Comfort Pig – one who requires and makes happen moments of comfort (“Comfort Moments”) on a regular basis.
2. Comfort Moments – an unadulterated moment of pure bliss that brings comfort and joy.  Can be a matter of seconds or entire days.
3. Comfort Foods – edible treats that delight and compel.  Not necessarily unhealthy.  Never to be regretted or resented when taken in moderation.
4. Comfort Items – objects that are required to deliver optimum comfort level.  From infancy these may be pacifiers, blankies or one’s thumb.  In adulthood, only restricted by one’s own desires.
5. Comfort Level – the level beyond which one ceases to feel comfortable and acknowledges that a Comfort Moment will be forthcoming at the first opportunity.
6. Comfort Zone – the realm inside of which one feels unthreatened, not in danger and at peace with the world.  Not always ideal but certainly has its place in one’s life.
7. Comfort Friend – someone who, just by their presence, lends comfort and warmth and is easy to be around.

Once upon a time there was a prince who desired to marry, but alas, he found it terribly difficult to find a worthy bride, one who was undoubtedly a true princess.  On a dark and stormy night (naturally!), a young maiden comes in from the cold and wet and begs for a place to stay for the evening.  The prince’s mother will not allow anyone but a princess to take shelter in the palace but when the woman declares that she is a princess from a neighbouring kingdom, the queen relents, but also concocts a plan to determine her pedigree.  She orders that a solitary pea be placed upon a mattress, and that twenty more mattresses and twenty featherbeds be placed atop it.

When morning arrives, the fair young maiden declares that she had endured a night of unspeakable discomfort, and that she had been kept awake all night long by something uncomfortable in the bed.  She also complains that she has been bruised by the unseen and unwelcome object.

The prince and his mother rejoice.  As is the case in all fairytales, princesses are incredibly fragile creatures and delicate and only a genuine princess would possess the sensitivity to be uncomfortable in such a situation.

The pea was retrieved and exhibited in the Royal Museum, and the prince and his newly identified princess were married.  And you have to know they lived happily ever after!

For many Comfort Pigs, ice cream takes us back to a more innocent, carefree time.  A time when there was no mortgage to pay, no teenagers to tame, no need to concern ourselves with a recession (that was our parents’ problem) and no boss to appease.  It’s a bowl of escapism right there, is what it is!

My brother is now in his late 30′s and he’s still rubbing those tootsies together at ice cream time!  Some things you just never grow out of … nor need to!

My current flight of fancy, and what I habitually take to girlfriends’ houses as the “treat du jour” is Streets Blue Ribbon double chocolate.  For my tips on how to get the absolute best out of it, even though, frankly, it doesn’t need much encouragement, keep reading.

1. Open and eat straight from the tub before you even put the other cold groceries away.  It is a treat that begs to be attended to, and why make it wait?  It’s always best when the ice cream has softened irresistibly around the edges of the tub on the ride home, snuggled in amongst the must-eat multigrain bread and the therapeutically-promising non fat milk.  Hey, you have to make concessions somewhere and if you have to go non fat on the milk, then so be it.
2. Post-grocery day, take from freezer, scoop as much as you can comfortably eat without attracting the gaping glares of your children/room-mates/Significant Other.  Nuke for 20 seconds in the microwave to get the whole silky smoothness back in action, then get comfy on the couch and float away, spoonful after spoonful.
3. If you want to really go the whole hog (Comfort Pig, anyone?), then I suggest adding a couple of spoonfuls of whipping cream.  The texture when it freezes on the ice cream is just divine.  And yes, it will put a dent in your cholesterol levels (and not the good ones), but this is not the way you eat everything, right?
4. Taking this particular ice cream to a girlfriend’s house is highly recommended.  Not only does it score you admiration and appreciation, but you also get to not miss out on your “treat du jour” even when you’re visiting!  But seriously, the reason you would take such a pleasurable treat to the home of someone you love is to demonstrate – ‘foodily’ – how you feel about them.  Warning: never ever take home the unused portion of the tub, even if you think you’ll crave a second helping when you get home.  That’s what the 7-11 is for, darlings!  No, you must graciously leave it behind, even if you have to bolt from the front door to the car as though hail was pelting from the sky so that the tub is not thrust well-meaningly into your hands.  Tis far better to bestow gifts and pleasure upon someone with wholeheartedness than to half-heartedly give with one hand and take with the other.  And after all, you know better than others who have not yet embraced the Comfort Pig label that by leaving your treats behind, you will infuse a little Comfort Piggery into their lives, and one day, they may thank you for it.